Chp7

After speaking with Jay, I was more comfortable and confident about the situation. And after a couple days of letting everything register, i felt at ease with things. And although it's only been about 3 or 4 days, i still was able to think and just clear my head. And regardless of how things turn out in the end, i knew Jay and I would somehow find a way to overcome it because we always do.

And as far as the whole Will situation, it's been killing me knowing that i was probably going to break this man's heart. But the last thing i wanted to do was hurt his feeling. I felt it was bound to happen though with the way things have been going between us. For Will he wanted more out of our somewhat relationship more then i wanted. And i guess i got caught up with him spoiling me, which was probably why i kept him around for so long. But in reality, i like Will and he is fine as hell, but besides all the gifts and frequent outings, it's really nothing there between us.

And on top of all things, we haven't been speaking nor seeing each other to the point where i became comfortable with it. But he has been blowing my phone up non stop. Like that morning i got back from Houston and before i spoke to Jay on that morning, he called my phone 5 times back to back. Just the other day, when i was going through my phone, checking my voicemails i came across 3 voicemails from him, talking about how much he misses me, and wants to see me, and how he needs to see me. Which creeped me out a little bit.

And i swear the other day when i was driving out of the garage of my apartment building, i seen him sitting in his car, about halfway down the street, just sitting there as if he was watching me or something. But i brushed it off because i didn't think that he was like that, but then again you never know. But to clear things up with him, i invited him over to talk. I hope he doesn't flip out like he did last time, about the whole Paul situation otherwise, shit is going to get real.

It was kind of late in the day, i was in the middle of cooking, well trying to cook in my case. I had my Patti Labelle's cook book so i hope that was enough too help, well as long as i follow the instructions. The reason for me cooking was because i noticed that Kelly's relationship with Calvin was becoming more serious, and being that i haven't actually met Calvin, i decided to invite the both of them over so that i can get a chance to know him.  Calvin was the guy that Kelly met that day on her morning run. And ever since Kelly found a place of her own, started working, and began dating Calvin i don't really get to see her like that.

I was in the middle of buttering my rolls, when Will finally arrived. Luckily the food turned well, but i was irritated because he was late coming over and it was cutting close to around the time Kelly and Calvin would be arriving. So off rip, i had an attitude.

KNOCK. KNOCK. KNOCK, he did for about the fifth time, which really annoyed me because i couldn't answer the door right away because i had to wash my hands from getting butter on them. And he did not have to keep knocking on my door like that.

I opened the door to find Will standing there with a silly as smirk on his face, it took everything in me not to ask him why the hell he was banging on my door like that, but i took the other approach by pretending to be happy to see him, but not trying to come off as if him coming over was like a date or something.





"Hey...." i said trying to seem cheery.

"Whats up stranger...." he said playfully, trying to be funny, but i dint find anything funny. 

I gave off a fake smile to seem amused "Come in." i replied, i was tired of standing at the door, i just wanted to get this over with as quick as possible now.

When Will walked in he kind of slowed up his pace when he took in a whiff of the aroma that filled the air from the food. "Mm. It smells good in here." he said happily rubbing his hands together, as if i cooked for him. 

"I'm having company in a few..." i replied, crushing his hopes of expecting a meal.

"Oh." he answered in disappointed tone. "So what did you call me over here for?" he asked, changing up his mood. He seemed like he suspected something was up but he just wasnt sure.

I let out a deep sigh because in my head i could already see where this was about to go, but i was trying to prepare myself just like Will was "If you want you can have a seat..." i said as i took one "But what i have to say is not going to take long."

Will stared at me for a minute then quietly took a seat. I waited until he was situated before i started speaking. "Look Will..." i said timidly  "I don't know of no easier way to say this so ima just come right out and say it." i said as i watched his face expression change. "You and I, we're just not working out. I mean i like you and i think your a terrific guy, but i just don't feel connected to you the way you do me." I said feeling so much better after having finally gotten that off my chest.

I waited for Will to register it in, because i know for him it was harder to take in. "Was it something i did wrong?" he replied.

"Nooo, you did nothing wrong." i said trying to keep him from pitying himself. ""This is all just coming from me and how i'm feeling." 

"But we can work it out, i mean just tell me what it is and i'll do it." he said practically begging.

I knew this was going to happen, i thought to myself. "Will.." i said sternly "You and I..." i said speaking with hand gestures so that he could get a full understanding "It's just not going to happen. I mean lets face it, we haven't spoken and over 2 weeks and to be honest and didn't bother me. I'm trying to just be real with you instead of string you along any further then what i already did, i know i should have been honest with you in the beginning but i didn't and I'm sorry for that."

After saying that it was like something came over Will, something horrible. Before i knew it this man was standing to his and began yelling at me. "So you mean to tell me, these past couple months didn't mean anything too you!....HUH?!" he asked taking a step towards me causing me to get scared, he didn't any give me a chance to speak "I thought we had something...." he said sounding like he was about to cry for a minute. "I've been telling my family about you....I had plans for you to meet my mom, hell i was starting to fall for you!" 

Being both scared and fed up with all the yelling and craziness that Will was talking, i finally stood up and said something "You know what, you need to LEAVE!" i snapped, standing there where my arms folded and my adrenaline rushing.

"Baby, i'm sorry." he quickly said, walking over to me to hug me.

 I backed away from him and moved off to the side "DONT......." i said almost about to yell. "Don't touch me! Look i was trying to be nice but now i see can't. If you don't leave my house in the next 5 seconds, I'm going to call the police."

I looked at Will and he had this evil ass look on his face, a look like this wasn't over or something like that. I stood there scared to death out of my mind. My heart was pounding and my body had stared shaking. I had never experienced anything like this before, so for me it was overwhelming.

"Alright....You want me to leave, i'll leave!" he said in a tone that will haunt me for the rest of my life. And just like that Will left, slamming my door for the second time. I probably stayed in that same spot, not even moving, but trying to take in all that just happened for nearly 5 minutes. It was like i was in a daze or something. I think if it wasn't for Kelly and Calvin knocking on the door, to break my faze i probably would have still been standing there.
I opened the door happy as ever to see them.

"Omg. I'm so glad your finally hear." i said to Kelly giving her the biggest hug ever. My voice was still a bit shaky.

"Are you okay?" Kelly asked, as she and Calvin made their way in. Kelly had a look of concern on her face.

"Yea...im ok." i said lying, i didn't want to ruin our dinner with drama.

"Bey..." Kelly said placing her hand on my shoulder. "I can clearly see that something is wrong, now you don't have to lie to me now tell me whats wrong." she demanded.

I made my way to sit down being that i needed too, i was trying to wrap my head around what just happened and gather my thoughts so that i could began to tell Kelly what happened. Calvin made his way to sit down, joining Kelly as she made her way to sit by me. He was looking totally confused.

"You know that guy Will....the one i've been dating." i said hoping to refresh Kelly's memory. 

"The cop, the one who gave you those nice earrings and necklace." she asked.

"Yea..." i said laughing a bit at Kelly remembering him because he gave me jewelry, but getting right back serious as i picked back up with my story "Well i invited him over so we can talk about things, well pretty much to end things with him."

"Why?" Kelly asked all confused.

"I'll tell you all that later..." i said not really wanting to go into all the details. "But anyway....he came over and i began telling him how we couldn't see each other no more and all that other then next thing you know he started flipping out and yelling at me. I had to threaten to call the police so that he could leave."

"OMG!" Kelly said when a stunned look on her face.

"He didn't put his hands on you did he?" Calvin asked out of nowhere, i forgot that he was even there.

"No, he didn't." i answered.

"Oh okay...well thats good because if he did, that would not have sat well with me." Calvin said. I couldn't believe how concerned he was about me, being that this was the first time that i met. I was already admiring his personality.

"I still can't believe he flipped out on you like that though." Kelly said jumping back into the conversation.

"Me either and the crazy part about it was that before he left, he gave me like this evil ass grin and the way he you want me to leave, i'll leave was part that really had me scared. It was kind of like he was saying, it's not over." i said becoming frighten by just hearing those words replay in my head.

"Like HELL it is...." Calvin said butting back in. "I know i may not know you all to well Beyonce but being that your a friend of Kelly automatically makes you ok in my book, so if that nigga tries to try something with you, i'll be there to take care of it."

"Thanks Calvin, i appreciate that." i said giving him a smile "But lets just hope nothing like that will ever happen."

"No problem." Calvin responded.

"Your right about that." Kelly said, referring to what i just said.

After talking to Kelly and Calvin, i was back in my party mood again. I was ready to have some fun. After serving everyone and eating, we popped opened the bottle of Champagne Kelly and Calvin brought over. And the rest of the night was smooth sailing. I observed the way Calvin and Kelly acted with each other and saw how cute they were together. Speaking with Calvin and interacting with him, i saw that he was a good person and he had a huge sense of humor. He kept me and Kelly laughing all night, which was good because i forgot less and less about about Will and the situation. 

Being with Kelly and Calvin made me think about Jay a lot that night. Especially thinking about how he was going to react after i told him about Will, being that i did meet Will through Jay in a way. Well i met him at Chris's party, but Jay always says that they're not friends just associates.  But still. I was so glad to have gotten rid of him. No telling how things would have turned out if we would have continued dating. I probably would have ended up on First 48, Snapped, or some shit like that. But overall despite Will's crazy ass nonsense, i enjoyed my night with Kelly. 
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Waking up the next morning all i seemed to think about was fucking Will. I couldn't even sleep last night because i  kept having nightmares of him stalking me and trying to kill me. I didn't even want to go in the work today because i was so tired and i was a little scared. I began wondering maybe that was his crazy ass sitting outside my apartment building that day. And the thought of him possibly being out there right now at this very moment sent chills up my spine. It took everything i had in me to get up and get out of bed. I was dreading having to leave my place. I felt safe. After coming out of the bathroom from just using it and turning on the shower and letting it run so that it could warm up, i spent the time that i had picking me out something to wear. 

I was searching and searching through my closet, i got so caught up in trying to find something to wear that when my phone went off, i jumped into the closet screaming to the top of my lungs. It was clear that i had become paranoid. After realizing that it was just the phone, i went over to check to see who was calling, and was nobody but my mom.

"Hey mom...." i said normally, answering the phone.

"Hey baby....how are you doing this morning?" she asked cheerfully.

"I'm doing alright..." i said letting out a yawn. "A little tired this morning, but overall I'm good. What about you?"

"Well you know...i'm fine." she began. "I'm sitting here with Juelz and we're just playing, and playing." she said talking in a bag voice, i didn't know rather she was talking to me like that or Juelz.

"Where's Solo?" i asked.

"Oh she's off taking care of some business, did she tell you she was moving up there." she replied, seeming happy about it.

"Yea she's mention it too me, but she never really told me when." i said back.

"Yea well, she's talking about coming in April, thats when they'll have everything ready and all set up." said my mom.

"Who?" i asked unsure of what she was exactly talking about.

"You know the realtors or whatever, she bought a house out and Brooklyn  and it's getting all worked up and resigned a little bit." she explained.

"Oh ok." i said getting a better understanding.

When i saw the steam coming out of the bathroom , i thought oh shit. Talking with my mom, i had forgot all about the shower running.

"Hey mom..." i said regaining her attention after a bier pause. "Let me call you back later ok."

"Oh yea honey....sure." she responded. "I was just calling to check on you anyways."

"Alright.." i said with a smile "Thanks ma."

"No problem baby, you have a good day." she said sweetly.

"I'll try...I looooooove you!" i said.

"I love you too." she said then hung up.

After hanging up, something hit me about my mom calling and when i went into deep thought about it, i realized that today was January 3rd, the day before my mom's birthday. Damn, how could i have forgot i thought. Thats why she called, just to see if would remember and totally didn't. I know I'm going to have to make it up to her big time.

...With the shower still running and me not finding anything to where still, i just grabbed a casual suit out of the closet to throw on then hopped in the shower and went on about my business. On my way heading out, i had came up with the idea to have Jay drive me to work. I was scared to take my car, on the thought of Will waiting outside  and an attempt to follow me.

Even though Jay said we needed our space from each other, i knew he wouldnt mind taking me to work. The only thing is, i just hope he was home to do so, otherwise i'll just have to take my chances and drive. I knocked on his door a few times because he didn't answer right away, i waited for another 5 mins then proceeded to leave until i heard him coming to the door.

"Beyonce....." Jay said as if he was shocked to see me.

"Hey..." i said shyly, for some reason i just felt a weird vibe. First off he opened the door with out a shirt and he seemed surprise to see me. I mean i know we were trying to keep our space but i didn't think it would be like this. "I didn't wake  I?" i asked, thinking maybe that that was the problem.

"No you didn't. I had just gotten up a few minutes before you came knocking." he said softly.

"Oh." i simply replied. I could tell by the look on Jay's face he wasn't ready nor prepared for this, but not because he had just woke up but because of something else. "Well i was wondering, well i was more so hoping that maybe you could give me a ride to work."

Jay letting out a deep sigh "Look Bey..." he spoke as he made his way into the hall pulling up the door behind him a little bit "You know i wouldnt mind taking you too work, but ..." he passed for a brief moment "now just isn't a good time."

And as i sat there putting 2 and 2 together, trying to figure out why it wasn't a good time. Thats when it hit me. He had that girl over.  It upset me knowing Jay had Eva over because how is it that we are suppose to be trying to figure out things for us, but yet he's still messing around with her. I mean first he rejects me when i tell him i like him, then i go through all this trouble to change myself and prove to Jay that i can be the girl he wants me to be. And when we did have that, things between us were still cool. Ugh i was so confused.  I needed some time to myself to put my thoughts together. I didn't know how to feel, i felt played and betrayed more so then anything.

I probably wouldnt have been as mad if i didn't see the girl because i could have just dealt with knowing she was over there much better then actually seeing her. But when she decided to bring her ass out, with that ugly ass shirt and her underwear on, i got heated.

"Baby what's taking you so lo---" she said stopping in the middle of her sentence as soon as she saw me.

The way the door was left open, you could see me in the view. And just as much as she could see me i could see her. Jay put his hand down in shame, because he knew he was wrong. I didnt even know what to say i just stood there speechless.

"Can you give us a minute." Jay said to Eva.

"Sure thing baby, i'll be waiting for you in the bedroom." she replied, but i know she said that shit purposely.

"Please don't be mad at me." Jay turn to me and said.

I just began laughing in disbelief because i just really  couldnt believe it. "Mad?.....Thats the last thing i am. Betrayed, played, or even hurt maybe.....but i aint mad." i spoke profoundly.

Jay let out another deep sigh "Im sorry and i just don't know what to do. The last thing i wanted was too have you feeling like this." he began to explain.

"Well it's a little too late for that." i answered.

"Please Beyonce....just hear me out for a min." he pleaded.

"For what Jay! HUH?!..." i said with delicate rage "So you can tell me things that i don't want to hear because if you ask me its all a load a bullshit!" 

"No thats not it..." he replied.

"Well can you pleeeeeease tell me, because i will sure as hell like to know." i snapped.

"When we talked last time, yea i know we made an agreement and things were good. But having Eva around lately has brought me nothing but great joy. And i know i told you i was feeling you too and i'll admit having you in my life is like peanut butter with the jelly, it just work. And well i guess by us starting off as friends i figured then well we can maybe remains friends......because honestly i would hate to lose my relationship with you. I deeply care about you." he expressed.

"And what relationship are you exactly talking about  because the only relationship i seem to recall is strictly friends, oh no wait let me take that back....how about telling someone you care about them then turning around and hurting them and you of all people should know what that feels like." I said reminding of the pain.

"Please Beyonce, lets not end this like this, matter of fact i don't want to end things at all....." he said stepping closer to grab ahold of me, i guess he felt like i was about to walk away, which i was in about another minute. "I care about you too much too just up and let you go, and i know i've hurt you but we're gonna get through this like we always do, i know we are."

I pulled away from Jay because i didn't want him touching me, my mind was all over the place all i want to do was just tell Jay off. "And quit saying you care about me..." i continued on "it's nothing but lies, lies, lies."

"Beyonce....please." continued to beg. "Tell me that you still care, tell me that our friendship is too good too lose, tell me that we're going to get through this." he said almost sounding like he was about to break down.

The more i stood there, the more i became emotional "I can't Jay...i just can't." i said trying to keep from crying. "You've hurt me two times too many and i'll be damn if i let it happen again." i said, then without even giving Jay a chance to speak, i rushed to the elevator. THANK GOD it was already waiting on our floor, otherwise i would have just took the stairs. How awkward and that trying to storm off and get caught by the elevator.

When i got too work, i sat in the car trying to prepare myself for work and get myself together, because i cried the whole 25 mins while i drove too work. My eyes were red and my face was wet, and on top of all things i wanted to cry some more, but i couldn't. I couldn't let what happened ruin me nor my day. I had too be strong and pick my head up. I checked my phone of the time and saw that i had a couple miss calls and text messages from Jay. I didn't bother to read them nor call back.

After another 15 mins, i finally got the strength to go in. Luckily no one came to shop yet and it was just Ty and Angie there at the store, because i didn't want anyone to seem me like this. Not even Ty or Angie, but because they know me so well, it was hard to hide my feelings. Both saw me walk in and when i didn't speak they came trailing after me and following me into my office. But if i did speak, then they would have heard the sadness in my voice and still did the same thing. I tried not too make eye contact with them as they stood their in my office staring at me, as i sat and whimpered at my desk thinking about things again.

"Sis, whats going on? Why are you crying?" Ty asked, coming to comfort me.

"It's just too much, i dont even know where to began." i replied.

"Well take a couple deep breaths and when your ready to talk, just go ahead." Ty said.

So after getting myself together once again, and took a few deep breaths, and after about 3 mins of silence I began telling Ty and Angie, first about Jay since he was the reason i was crying. I told them the whole story from top too bottom, from beginning to end, not leaving one thing out. Then in the midst of the conversation i began telling them about Will, being that he was the reason i ended up knocking on Jay's door in the first place.

"This must be payback for the way i treated Will." i said, just after finishing up with my story.

"Oh Bey...dont say that." Angie said.

"Yea, BB. It's not your fault. You can't think like that." Ty added.

"This is some bullshit..." i said throwing my head down, as i placed it on top of my arms, as i had them folded on the desk.

"I had hopes for you too." Ty stated.

"Man thats fucked up!" Angie commented.

"Well it is what it is." i said raising my hand back up, but resting on my hand.

"Im still stuck on the whole Will situation." Ty went on to say.

"Yea me too. He seemed nothing like that, the day he came in the store that day." Angie added in.

"Man people are never what they seem..." i said in a dull tone.

"Aw Bey...." Angie said in a sympathetic voice.

"I hate seeing you like this sis, you make me wanna go beat up Jay and kill that mother fucker Will!" Ty snapped causing me to chuckle, because he sounded so serious.

"See there it goes...." Angie said laughing and smiling too. "Thats how i like too see my cuz, not all down and mopey."

"Yea, i know." i said slowly rejuvenating "I'm just so over it." i said after having had enough. The thing about me, i maybe down and out for a little while, but i bounce back quick.

"What thats saying, Kelly always says?" i asked rhetorically.

"I don't chase em, i just replace em...." we all said as one then breaking out into laughter.

"Whew man..." i said after a good laugh "Yal we should all do something, like take a trip or something." i said beginning to feel like myself again. And after having a few good laughs with the people i love had me thinking about doing something fun.

"Im down." Ty replied.

"To where?" Angie asked.

"I don't know, but ima think of something, shit, it's 2005 we need to get with the time....." i said with playful enthusiasm. "Well actually..." i began, thinking about my mom "The lovely Mrs. Tina Knowles, birthday is tomorrow, and well she probably think i forgot, which i did, but i figured we could go to Houston this weekend and surprise her, you know and throw her a little surprise party or something."

"Uhmp. Uhmp. Uhmp. " Ty said shaking his head. "You forgot you own mother's birthday."

"Ok so technically i forgot, but she aint gotta know. Thats why we need to go to Houston. Ima text Solo right now and let her know." i said trying to excuse forgetting my mom's birthday.

"Well i'm down, but i'm still telling Auntie Tina. Angie said teasing me.

"Snitch." i said throwing a peace of candy from off my desk at her.

And all in that matter of time, i felt whole again. I was myself. And i was letting go of Jay and Will and was moving on with my life. Because you have to experience a few minor set backs for a major come back. And best believe i was setting out for a M A J O R come back!

THANKS FOR READING, I HOPE YOU ENJOYED. BE SURE TO COMMENT AND LEAVE A NAME, YOUR COMMENTS AND YOUR INPUT REALLY MEANS A LOT. IT'S HOW I WRITE AND PREPARE FOR MY NEXT CHAPTER.  BUT ON THAT NOTE, BE PREPARED ON WHATS TO COME. I HAVE SO MUCH IN STORED. UNTIL NEXT TIME..........P E A C E!!!