Friday, November 30, 2012

Chp8

It's been a couple weeks since the whole incident between Jay and I. And i can't believe how much shit he and I have been through and we're not even together. Thats what makes things so crazy. This time around it was different, it was no trying to work things out and make things right. The fact that I allowed myself to get into a situation like this, is beyond me. And as much as i liked Jay and cared for him, this time around he was wrong. But i didn't care anything about what he had to say nor try to explain, because it was nothing he could say to justify what he did.

If he thought that this time, I was just going to say ok, sure, lets work it out like we always do, NO, he had another thing coming. I was not returning his calls, his texts, i never answered when he came by either. I was so over his hot and cold ass. And I'm mad at myself because i made so many changes based off what Jay told me about being selfish and all that, but at the same I'm glad i did make those changes because it allowed me to see things about myself. But i know the next time i get a guy, I'm going to make sure I throughly investigate them, because after dealing with Will and Jay, i just can't trust things.

     .....Being that i didn't have to work today, I was going to use this day to just relax and enjoy myself. These past 4-5 months have been so crazy and i haven't had much me time in a while, and i could really  use a day to kick back and gather my thoughts.

I had just popped in Waiting to Exhale, popped me up some popcorn, and poured me up a glass of wine, I was really set on enjoying myself on this day. And slowly getting over and letting go of things with Jay this movie was the perfect thing to watch. It had just got into the scene where Angela Bassett was burning up her husbands clothes, and i was sitting on the couch beginning to think of some things
i can destroy of Jay because thats how mad i was. But my thoughts got interrupted when i heard a knock on my door.

I sat there for a while because i was thinking that maybe it was Jay or somebody who was knocking on the wrong door. But when they kept knocking i figured it was Jay. I hurried to turn the tv down to make it seem like i wasn't there. But when the knocking kept on, i just decided to get up and answered. I check the peep hole to see who it was but they had it covered, so i got mad. They were interrupting my me time.

"Who is it?" i asked with a attitude, but i got no response. Oh the mf's didn't hear me, i thought. "I S A I D...." a little louder then last time "Who the fuck is it?" And they still didn't respond, but when i heard snickering of 2 women i thought it was Angie and Kelly, so i calmed down my attitude and proceeded to open the door. "I see yal bithces want t--" i stopped in the middle of my sentence when i saw my mom, Solo, and Juelz standing at my door.

"Excuse me?" my mom said, giving me a crazy ass look.

"Oops, sorry mommy." i said innocently "I thought you were somebody else."

"Like who?" my mom asked.

"Just nobody..." i replied as they walked in. "Heyyy little man..." i said grabbing Juelz from Solo as she walked passed. "Hey Solo."

"Whats up sis." she said making her way to sit down. "What you going through over here?" she asked, noticing the movie playing.

"Ohh, nothing." i said going to turn it off. "I just felt like watching it thats all."

"Yea, yea, yea. Tell it to the preacher man." she joked.

"Whatever..." i giggled. "So what are yal doing here?" i asked, because i had no idea they were in town or even coming.

"I didn't know i needed an invitation to see my own daughter." she said sarcastically. "But if you must know, we just wanted to surprise you thats all."

"Well i'm happy yal are here, i've missed you. And i'm sorry i missed your birthday ma, me, Ty, and Angie really wanted to make it but as usual things got in the way." i said

''It's okay baby, but i loved the shoes you sent me. I wore them to dinner when your father took me out, and well lets just say he didn't even want me to take them off."

"Ok my nephew is sitting right here." i said trying to shake the mental images my mother just put in my head.

"Right my ewwww, nobody wants to hear that." Solo added.

"The both of you need to cut it, acting like yal don't have sex." she went on to say.

"Well yea, but you make me not want to when you start talking about it." i teased, as Solo followed in with  a laugh.

"Yal get on my nerves.....let me go to the bathroom, that water is starting to catch up with me." she said going to use the bathroom.

After laughing some more at my mom, i finally made my way to sit down. I played around with Juelz and talked to Solo for a minute, while my mom used the bathroom. We we're having a conversation of our own until she came back out and interrupted.

"So how are things going with you and Will or did you work things out with that Jay dude?" she asked.

Oh god, i thought. I was really wasn't in the mood to have to explain things but i know if i told here i didn't want to talk about things then she would have sensed that there was a problem and wanted to discuss it or i can lie and say things are good but then she will say when why don't you call them over so i can meet them, so either way I'm screwed.

"Well...if you must know Will and I are no longer seeing each other and as for Jay and I we're not speaking and i seriously don't care if we ever speak again." i dryly replied.

"Aw why, Jay seemed cool." Solo added in.

"I don't even want to get started on that, thats a whole other story in it's self." i went on to explain to them though about Jay and I, beginning with Will being that Jay was part of the reason I was with Will to begin with.

"Well for one, you were wrong for using that poor boy Will, but i would have gotten rid of him too, he seemed a little on edge from what you told me. And as for Jay, well i don't know what to say about that." My mom said as she scratched her head, becoming lost for words.

"Well if you ask me..." Solo begin "Im glad you got rid of Will too and as for Jay, I'm sure his intentions weren't too hurt and i think he actually genuinely cares about you, but by him establishing something with what ever her name is, while he was thinking you were with Will, made it hard for him to transition his feelings fully for you with out having to hurt hers, and because you too were already so close already then it was like you could better understand his reasoning for doing so."

"I never thought about like that...." i said beginning to think for a minute. "I guess it kind of makes since, but I'm over his hot and cold ways." I said as my old feelings about the situation began to resurface.

"And it's partially your fault too because if you would have just been honest with him instead of trying to make him jealous then all of this could have been avoided, and he should have came to you and told you how he felt as well. So when it's all said and done the both of you are to blame." Mom added.

Sitting there and hearing what each of them had to say, i knew that what they were saying were right, but it's not much that i can do now. Because  at the end of the day, Jay and i could mend out friendship, but he's still going to be with her.

"Well it doesn't matter because I'm over it...it's done with....and lets just change the subject." i said getting annoyed by having to talk about it.

"Alright, we'll leave it alone." my mom replied.

"Come here Ju Ju..." Solo said grabbing him from me "Let mommy go change your diaper."

"Byyyeee....little man." i said smiling and waving as if he were leaving me for good. "So what do you guys want to do, now that your here?" i said switching the focus of things.

"Well I'm a bit hungry, i don't know about Solo." my mom replied.

"Hell yea....im hungry." i heard her yell from the room.

"Excuse me?!" my mom yelled back.

"Sorry m'am that was my stomach talking." she said back. And i fell out laughing on the couch. That girl was so funny.

"Yea yea yea..." my mom replied.

"Well we can go out to eat, we all know i can't cook." i suggested.

"I just don't know where i went wrong with you." My mom teased.

"Leave me alone..." i playfully responded "Well i'm gonna go and get showered and stuff, and we can leave out in a minute."

"Well alright...But I'm about to ramble through the fridge because i need something now!"

I went on to the back to get showered and everything, and after about a 10 minute showers, 15 minutes of changing in and out of outfits, trying to find the right one to wear, and another 10 minutes trying to do something to my hair, we headed on out. I took them to a really nice restaurant called La t'era, it was a very mixed restaurant with different varieties of foods and deserts. Jay and I came here before in the past and i liked it because it was so elegant and the food was really nice.

I was expecting to have a nice, relaxing, enjoyable meal with my family but those feelings quickly left, when I walked in and saw Jay having lunch with some guy. Instantly i thought, lets leave but i didn't want my mom and Solo asking questions about why we had to leave, nor did i want Jay thinking that seeing him was a bother too me, even though it was but he didn't have to know that. So i sucked it up and played it off like i didn't even see Jay. And where we were seated, Jay couldn't see us and i couldn't see him....so i thought.




We were halfway through eating when i felt a someone tap me on my shoulder. And the crazy thing about it, my mom and Solo though it was just some random gut trying to hit on me because they had never seen Jay before. I slowly turned around, and put on the fakest smile i could possibly have.

"Whats up...." Jay said all cool, then spoke to my mom and Solo. "Hello ladies...." he said all charming like he always is, but i saw right through his ass.

I didn't even say anything back, i just sat there giving him a blank look while my mom and Solo we're acting like some heathens "Heyyyyyy....." they replied as one, as if they were in a daze.

"How you been?" Jay kept on, i guess he knew i wouldnt cut up in front of my mom, Solo, and the baby.

"I'veee....been good." i replied in a mutual tone.

"Uhm excuse me.....Beyonce..." my mom began "But aren't you going to introduce us to your friend."

"Yea....Rude-ey(Rudy) Huxtable." Solo added.

I rolled my eye at them, and went on the introduce them. I was just worried at how they were going to respond when they find out they're meeting Jay. "Mom, Solo....." i said dreading every minute and word "This is Jay, Jay this is my mother and this is my sister. Oh and little man, right here is my nephew Juelz." i said noticing Juelz doing something cute, that instantly lifted my mood, causing me to forget about my feelings towards Jay for a minute.

I watched as their eyes widened a bit, both looking surprised. "Ohhh...Okayyyyy....your the infamous Jay" Solo mumbled with a devious look on her face. I already knew what she was thinking.

"Well its nice meeting you Jay." my mom simply said, giving me some look. Between her and Solo, i had enough, i couldn't take them two.

"It was nice meeting you too lovely ladies and you too little man..." Jay said shaking on Juelz hands a little bit being that he was standing right over him, then turned back to look at his friend who was standing by the door. I guess they were in the middle of leaving. "Well i wish i could stay and chat with you longer but unfortunately i have to go.....I saw you as i was heading out and I couldn't have left with out saying anything. You ladies continue to enjoy your dinner.....Beyonce." he said then looked to me with out saying another word.

I still didn't say anything, we just stared at each other awkwardly for a few more seconds then he finally took off. I prepared myself for the nonsense my mom and Solo were about to give me after just meeting Jay.

"Omg Bey, he is HOT! He also seems like a bit of a rough neck." Solo went on to Joke.

"So that Jay huh?" my asked rhetorically.

"Yuuuup....." i replied. Feeling some type of way after being put on the spot like that. I was so caught off guard. "Go ahead, let me hear it."

"Let you hear what, he seems like a nice guy." Of course my mom would say that.

"Well looks are deceiving..." i lowly said.

"Yea Bey he seems cool. And he came over here in spoke so he obviously still cares about you." Solo added.

"Welp that ship has sailed, so it is what it is." i replied all nonchalant.

"Your only saying that because you still like him...thats all." My mom replied back.

"Do not!" i said.

"Do too." she said back.

"No i don't." i said again.

"Yes you do. she said back. We were both sounding like to two little kids arguing.

But i was in complete denial about still feeling Jay. I mean i know i do because my feelings aren't just going to go away, but that doesnt mean we're going to be friends again or getting together, i was over it. I was moving forward.

"Ok and so what. Yea i still have feelings for him BUT thats a done deal, I'm moving on. He made his choice." i replied sharply.

"Look baby, I'm not saying this to get you upset or anything but sometimes you have to let the heart speak for itself. Im not saying yal have to be together, but atleast remain friends if anything."

"I don't know ma....it's like i want too then again i don't. Because i don't want feelings getting caught up again and it least to some more mess. I know Jay is a good guy, and i know his history, he still has some issues he has too deal with and work out within his self from just getting out of a divorce in all, i feel like he's still at a vulnerable place, so his feelings are all over the place." i explained to my mom.

It's not that i don't want to try to make amends, once again, it's just that this time it has too be done right. Jay has issues, just as well as I, so until we both address those issues then we are never going to get no where. And the fact that he and I always make up and pretend like nothing has ever happen is not going to work, not this time.

"Well i understand now, and you're right. Because thats a lot of baggage trying to take into another relationship. And I'm pretty sure his relationship with that girl is not going to last long because of it, i guarantee it." my mom added.

"Time will tell....but right now, I'm just focusing on me this time. I focused too much on Jay these past few months and look where it got me." i said chuckling a bit becoming comfortable of the situation after having talked about it so much with my mom and Solo.

"Well yal ready to go.....cuz I'm full and i can't eat no more." She said rubbing on her stomach "And besides, my baby is getting sleepy, he missed his nap today because of the flight."

"Yea...we can go. That casserole is starting to get to me." I said as my stomach began to make noises. "And judging by the sound of it, we don't have much time." I said jokingly but serious as the rumbling kept on.

My mom and Solo just laughed at me. Ignoring them, i made my way to go pay the bill.  They met me at the door and we left. When we got home all hell broke loose in bathroom. No need for the details, just know it wasn't pretty. But after about 30 mins, i was cool again. Solo put the baby down for his nap, and my mom being her old self, passed out too.

Solo and I sat around talking some more, just doing some sister bonding. We ended the evening, popping back in Waiting to Exhale, being thats this was one of our favorite movies to watch together. We're both huge Whitney fans, especially me. Her voice is phenomenal. Halfway through the movie, Solo dozed off. I guess all them were tired from the flight. And after a while, I, myself got tired and was about to doze off until my phone went off. It was a text...a text from Jay.

R: You look just like your mom and 
your sister. And little dude, was
cool. Your family seems loving.
             received from Jay 7:38pm

Why Jay thought it was ok too text me, i don't know, and i had no intentions to text him back but i was going to let him know that just because i introduced him to my family earlier, didn't mean that we were back on good terms.

S: UHM, Don't get things twisted
i am still mad at you. 
                     sent to Jay 7:42pm


R: I kind of figured that, but i
just want to make things
right.
          received from Jay 7:44pm


S: Don't you think we tried enough 
of that? It's getting pretty old if you
ask me.
                      sent to Jay 7:46pm


R: I feel like shit!
           received from Jay 7:48pm


S: Well you should!
                      sent to Jay 7:48pm


For a while Jay didn't respond and for a second i thought he was going to pop up at my door.

R: Im sorry Beyonce, i am truly.
And i just wish i could make it
up to you. You've been a good
friend to me, and i took 
advantage of your feelings.
Not saying that i didn't care
about you, because i did.
I'm just still trying to get 
back into the swing of 
dating and having a true
female companion, and i 
found that in you, but i 
messed that up.
         received from Jay 8:03pm


After reading Jay's last text, and re-reading a few more times. I felt relieved. It was like finally he was acknowledging things. Which was what i wanted him to do.  He realized how bad he messed up and now he has to fix it, but whiten him self first.

S: Yes, you did hurt me, and 
things are pretty messed up
between us but, at the end of
the day i can't lie and say that 
i don't still care about you.
But you have some unresolved
issues that you are still dealing
with and until you can address 
them and work on i don't think
we can remain friends. So now 
it's on you this time. And when 
you're ready, i'll be here.
                       sent to Jay 8:10pm


R: Your absolutely right. It seems
like i was the one who was always
trying to tell you things about your
self, when in all i needed a reality
check too. And thanks too you, i
got one. I appreciate you Beyonce
for sticking around even though
you didn't have too, that really
 shows me a lot about who you
are. And your a good person, 
and a very forgiving person at 
that. I hope maybe we'll be able
to be like we we're before all the
drama and mess.
           received from Jay 8:14pm


S: Thats what friends are for and
i hope that maybe one day we can 
be like how we were before, well,
because you didnt say it our emot-
ions got involved, which led to the 
mess we're in now. But we can only 
wait and see what the future holds
for us.
                         sent to Jay 8:17pm


R: Lol, you're right. It's just still
hard for me to accept things, I 
wish i would have done things
differently. But people make
mistakes, and i know I'm not 
perfect, but I'm working on
things.
          received  from Jay 8:19pm


S: Lol, i understand. And yea
by you realizing you made a 
mistake is a step in its self. 
I just hope you can keep it
up.
                    sent to Jay 8:20pm

R: I will. I promise. But not 
only for you, but myself. You
will see. 


And after texting Jay, i knew exactly where i stood in his life. And although it was in a friendly place, i was okay with that. It was like Jay and I were finally on the same page for once. And i couldn't have been happier. Im starting to think that Jay's and I relationship with each other is somewhat like a drug, you try it and it leaves you addicted and wanting more. And no matter the side effects you continue on taking and using the drug. And it was like Jay and I couldn't get enough of each other, because no matter what we always found our way right back to one another.



THANKS FOR READING. HOPE YOU LIKED THE UPDATE. BE SURE TO COMMENT, LEAVE A NAME. LOVE YOU GUYS, UNTIL NEXT TIME. "ADIOS AMIGOS"



16 comments:

  1. I just knew he would see her at the restaurant. He got balls walking over there, when he knew Bey was probably still pissed. Lol. Glad Mama Tina & Solo talked to her. At least he admitted he messed up this time.

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  2. They are too cute ! I can't wait to see what the future holds for them. I'm glad Jay realized he messed everything up along with Bey being stern about her decisions. I see good things happening. Lol

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  3. GREAT POST!!! and i am glad bey and jay are back on good terms!miss.Tina and Solo are hilarios!! UPDATE SOON!!

    @JAYONCE4EVA
    NYJAH SHAMIAH EDWARDS

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  4. Loving this! I hope lil pea head Eva is out of the picture so we can get this love thang going! Lol

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  5. Love it now eva needs to leave out da picture n all will be gud

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  6. I love it ! Eva needs to go! lol Great Post :)

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  7. where is the update? I need one pls

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