Chp 15

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Sometime has passed now. And it's been a nice little while (and I'm talking a while) since after Solo got here. Things have been crazy for me after having to transition into my new found life, but it was great at the same time because i felt like i am growing as a person and as a woman. My relationship with Jay was coming along swell, but i figured we were in this little love at first sight type of spell, so giving it a few more weeks things could either stay good or go bad. But i wasn't trying to think about the future, especially not this soon. I have too much going on for me to let some pettiness get in the way. I had too focus.

"B you dressed?" Jay asked as he was coming into my room.

"Why do you say that and you say it every time as if you never seen me naked?" i teased.

"Yea and how long ago was that?" Jay mumbled.

"What?!" i said trying to snap my bra together, then i looked up over at Jay who was looking back at me and well..."So your just gonna stand there and watch me struggle." i asked.

"So you mean to tell me you been wearing a bra for how long and you don't know how to snap it?" he asked then crossed his arms, giving me another straight face.

I giggled a bit. "Yeaaa..." i whined. "I just got my nails done and i refuse to mess up this cherry red paint."

"Really? Really B?" Jay said in an annoying voice. "You know what you sound like right now?"

"What?" i asked annoyed.

"A BIT----" he said then burst out laughing "Hahaaha I'm just fucking with you , you know i would never call you that." He said seeming to be entertained, but i wasn't.

"I wish you would..." i mumbled getting in my last little word. Then Jay decided to finally come over and help, but i decided i wasn't going to wear a bra so i took it off and tossed it on the bed, letting the girls sit out and look pretty.  "Nope, don't touch me now." I teased as Jay tried to make a move. "You were just too busy trying to joke around and shit."

"Ohhh some body maddd" he said in a mocking voice that really just annoyed me. This is one of those days where Jay's silliness isn't funny.

"Boyyyy! ....Ch" i said to myself as i put on my shirt.Then rushed out the room after hearing a loud sound coming from the  kitchen.

I rushed into the kitchen to find a big spill and Mileena, Jay's daughter who was now living with Jay after staying with his mother for so long. The reason why was because Jay didnt have the time to be a full time dad, but Jay explained to me that when he would tell me that he was going on a business trip, he was really going to spend time with Mileena which made more sense to me because his ass was always gone.

"Im sorry miss Beyonce." Mileena said in a innocent voice.

"Oh its okay baby..." i said going over to pick up the empty juice carton. "Are you still thirsty?"

"What happened?" Jay asked coming in all late.

"She spilled the juice, evidently." i replied still annoyed by Jay.

Jay just gave me a look and continued to stand there.

"Well dont just stand there atleast help or something." i said picking up dripping pieces of paper towel and carrying them to the trash.


Jay still stood there giving me another look, but the look i had was more fearful. It only took Jay a few more seconds to realize that because after that he started helping.

"miss Beyonce...ar--are you mad at my daddy?" Mileena asked still standing in the same place she was when i first came in the kitchen.

"No sweety..." i said quickly changing my attitude as i forgot she was standing there. From there i picked her up and took her into the living room, giving her a juice and leaving Jay there to clean up the mess. I wasnt so much rushing, but i was in a bit of a rush because i had a client i was suppose to be meeting with today about designing something for them. It just so happened to be Jay's friend Gwyn, Chris wife.

After getting Mileena situated, i went back into the back to finish getting ready. No sooner after i had gotten back there, Jay came strolling into the room. "Whats your problem?" he quickly shot at me.

"Nothing." i replied.

"Well i find that hard to believe the way you been snapping all morning." he said.

"Well im telling you nothing...the more you keep bothering me about this is going to quickly turn into a problem in a minute." i said, as i applied some more blush to my face.

"Whatever." Jay said then walked out the room.

Once I was done getting ready i left, giving Jay a dry ass good bye. I got to work 15 mins later then what I expected because of the damn traffic. Which added more frustration to how I was already feeling. On top of that I hate being when I know I have someone waiting on me.

I walked in the store to see Angie doing her daily rituals. Ty was out for today. Gwyn was waiting in the waiting area of my store which was very nice and cozy. I walked up on her in the middle of her reading a magazine.

"Gwyn..." I said getting her attention.

"Your hereeee" she said with excitement rushing up to greet me. She was always warm and opening when greeting someone.

"How are you?" I asked trying to be polite and not let my attitude show.

"I've been good. Just been busy as preparing for the MET GALA then on top of that I have to be mommy as well..." She replied.

"Oh you have a child?" I asked surprised. Her body was still in good figure.

"Yup Apple who is 1 and I just found out a few days ago that I'm expecting again?" She said happily.

"Really." I asked, being that she didn't even look like it. By this time we were already in my office.

"Uhm-hm and after that, I'm done." She went on to stay and we both laughed. "Do you have any kids?"

"Oh No." I replied sharply. Then started thinking about Jay and Mileena. "But I guess in a way I kind of do...my boyfriend has a child." I went on to say.

"Ohhh..." she responded. "If you dont mind me asking, but are you and Jay together?"She asked.

"Yeaaa." I responded slowly, unsure if if I should have told her that. "Why do you ask?"

"Because I seen you guys out a few times, and he spoke highly of you when I asked him for your number and about your work, and well you two look cute together...." She said cheerfully. "And i was also hoping, because when I found out he was with that model chick, I was nun-uhnn, what happened to my girl." She said referring to me and Eva.

"Tell me about it..." I said laughing.

"I'm so happy. Now we can double date." She said excitedly.

Gosh this chick is very jolly I thought. But she was cool.

"Yea. That should be fun."

"You guys have too come to LA to visit." She said.

"Oh of course. Whenever Jay and I have time." I replied.

"Where gonna be good friends." Gwyn said.

I just nodded and smiled politely. Couldn't say for sure, but if she was more like she is, then I think so.


Gwyn and I work briefly on the final details for her sample piece. I was designing her a dress to where for a red carpet event here in NY. I knew if I teamed up with Gwyn, with her type of celebrity status, then it could take B.K. to a whole other level. In the midst of working with Gwyn I relieved a call from my girl Keyshia, saying how she was in town and wanted to meet up. But because I was working with Gwyn I couldn't leave right away. I also ended up missing my normal lunch time, so Keyshia picked up some grub and met me at my house. But I was a little late getting back because Jay had me come pick up Mileena. Soon after picking up Mileena I was arriving at my place.

"Well took you long enough.." She playfully bitched, meeting me in the lobby of my place.

"I'm sorry...I had too make a pit stop." I said referring to Mileena.

"Ohh who is this little cutie." She said beginning to speak to Mileena. "Hi there honey."

"Hiiiii...." Mileena said shyly hiding behind me.

"Who's little girl is this?" Keyshia asked again.

"Remember that guy I told you about last time you came..." I said refreshening her memory of the conversation she and I had about Jay.

"The Jay guy right." She said and I nodded in agreement. "You know he's friends with Jeez, yea I seen him a few times in Atl at a couple things Jeezy had going on." Jeezy was Keyshia's boyfriend. He was a famous rapper.

"Man who doesn't this guy know?" I asked, but mostly too myself.

Keyshia giggling. "So yal finally then went ahead and did them damn thing huh." She said. By this time we were up in my apartment.

"Sshhhh..." I said reaching across the counter to hit Keyshia, who had just began eating. "Don't forget she's right here." I tried to say quietly so Mileena wouldn't hear us.

"Oops my bad." She said quieter. "So when did yal make it official?" She asked.

"About a couple of weeks ago..." I said beginning to think. "If not more, but it was around the time Solo moved up here."

"Aw shit..." Keyshia said excitedly. "She's finally up here, whaaaaat?!"

"Really bitch..." I whispered giving her a straight face. "Didn't I just tell you, she's only right there." I said not so much caring, but I didn't want the little girl walking around with a fealty mouth.

"My bad." She said putting on a guilty face.

"It's cool." I chuckled.

"What time is it?" Keyshia asked. "We should go out later, I wanna do something."

"It's 4:44." I replied. "And yea lets, I'm about to call up the crew right now." I said getting excited. I was down for going out. I could sure use some time out after having to deal with Gwyn, Jay, and Mileena.

"Speaking of crew, how's Michelle, when was the last time you talked too her?" She asked.

"Girl...." I said dramatically after Almaty having forgot about her.

"It's been about a year, but she wrote me a letter a few months back and said she should becoming home soon." Michelle was another friend of ours, I met her in my high school years, at a school event, been good friends ever since. When she turned 21 she enlisted into the marines corp, and so we hardly ever see her.

"Dam--..." She said almost about to cuss again but stopped. " I mean dannnggg, I still can't believe she really went and joined. I never pictured her doing anything like that."

"I knnoooow, it's crazy but she did and more power to her."

Keyshia and I sat around talking and eating until Keyshia left. We had set plans to go out later on so she went off to get ready and we were going to meet back up. It was just going to be Keyshia and I because Ty never answered, Angie said she wasn't in the mood, and Kelly was sick. Which was cool because I can hang with them all day long but with Keyshia I can't. It was a little past 6 and I was getting irritated because Jay wast answering my calls it returning any of my texts. But he sent me a text nearly 40 minutes saying that he was on his way home. I didn't know I rather I should just relax, be mad, or be worried.

I didn't want to flip out because I wanted to believe that he would come home. But then I was mad because he stuck me with Mileena. And I was worried because I was hoping that nothing didn't happen. I was so confused. All I know was that I had plans to go out. So I called Angie back up to see if she could keep Mileena, and she agreed.

Instead of dropping Mileena off, I waited for Angie to come over to my place. I didn't want to have Mileena in a unusual setting, and it would be easy to just come home drunk instead of ripping and running all over the place. Angie got the right before 8 and when she did I dipped out. I met up with Keyshia across town at this Lesbian Bar down in the city. Keyshia was that friend who brought out your wild side out, no matter what if your with Keyshia you were always going to have a good time.

I found myself and parked then called Keyshia to see where she was at. We talked all the way until she got to my car.

"Hi Gorgeous...." She said getting into the car.

"Hey Beautiful..." I said back. "You look cute."

"Thanks..." She said. "And I loooovve the shoes." She stated.

"Thank ya...you ready to go in." I said after doing a last minute check.

"Yea...but hold up a minute I want to finish this." She said pulling out a something that looked closely too a cigarette but wasn't.

"I thought you quit." I teased.

"I did but Jeez ass been stressing me out lately...he keeps pressuring me about having a baby." She said taking a hit.

"We'll why don't you, yal been together for what... 5 years?"

"Yea...buts it's not that I don't want to its just I got so much going on for me which me launching my own line and everything so the timing is everything is a little off." She expressed.

"Yea I feel you. But damn, I hope yal are able to work through it." I implied.

"Yea me too." She said taking another hit, then in attempt to pass it to me. "Oh yea I forgot." She said laughing.

"Shit I mine as well, it's Friday...I'm off of work, and I ain't finna sit in the house and look like no fool." I joked and we both laughed.

I was bad at first when I tried smoking, but with Keyshia's help I did just fine. We both walked into that bar high as heel and feeling ourselves. We got us a booth, ordered a bottle, and a couple shots to start us off with. We finished our bottle kind of fast aside from the other drinks we ordered, then found our selves ordering some more.

Keyshia and I were turning up and out at the bar to tonight. Slowly and surely out area started feeling with a whole bunch of different women. All trying yo party with and hit on Keyshia and I. Then one of them really took a liken to Keyshia, giving her all types of attention. I'm not no homophobic or anything but it got a bit extreme so I dipped off to the bathroom.

I staggered against the stalls trying to make my way to the sink, to look in the mirror. I looked up and saw pure blurriness. My ass was faded. I pulled out my phone to check the time, it read 12:13. I also saw that I had a few missed calls from Angie and a hell of a lot from Jay, including a few texts. Some how I dialed my voicemail trying to call Jay only to find he left some nasty voice messages. I was so clueless as to why he would be doing such a thing, so I called back and finally got a hold of him.

"What is your problem?"I quickly said after hearing him pick up.

"So you leave my daughter alone with someone she doesn't know so that you could go out." He said talking over me.

"Wait whhhhaaat?" I said drunkenly, not catching a word he just said.

"You heard me!" Jay continued to snap.

Out of nowhere I started laughing. "Nooo I really didn't."

"Look if you want to go out that's fine, but don't be leaving my daughter with people she doesn't know." He replied sharply.

"First off I left her with Angie...and secondly don't be coming at me with that nonsense when you were the one who left her with me anyway. Next time answer your fuu--..." I began spazzing but I got hung up on.

Oh no the mother fucker didn't, i thought to myself. But before I got a chance to hit the call button, Keyshia came strolling in.

"Where did you go? I was missing you." Keyshia said talking in a baby voice, it was just something that we did.

"Jay's mad at me." I said in that same voice pouting.

"Why what you do?" She asked.

"Because!...." I said frustratedly. "I had Angie watch Mileena while we went out."

"And so...?" She said all nonchalant.

"Right that's what I was thinking at first, then he was all like he doesn't want her around anybody she doesn't know and Bla Bla Bla."

"We'll fuck him...don't let him ruin your night. He shouldn't of left you with get in the first place." She said cheering me up.

"Right. Come on Ke, I'm ready to dance."

From there I went back out into the bar, to finish up my night and do what I came to do which was have a good time. And the more I partied the less I forgot about Jay and his foolishness.

Coming home, I prepared myself for more of Jays bickering. Only to find that my apartment was cold and empty. I sat on the couch slummed and drunk, waiting on Keyshia to come up then finally she did. She was down there playfully harassing Miguel the desk clerk.

"I thought I was gonna come up here to a death match." She said staggering in.

"Nooo..." I chuckled. "He's not here, he's probably back down the hall."

"Oh shit, yal stay right next door to each other." She said beginning to laugh. "I wonder how that's going to work out."

"Yea I know. I'm surprised he hasn't made his way down here yet."

"Well I'm gonna go to sleep on that one, I do not want to be awake for that." she teased.

"Ha ha ha.." I laughed. "Very funny, but good night." I said as Keyshia made her way too bed.

I couldn't even go to bed right away because I was sitting and thinking on how I was going to resolve things with Jay, but just not tonight. Maybe in the morning when both of us had enough time to clear our heads and for me sober down.

The next morning I awoke to a knock on the door. I just knew that it was jay being how early it was. I'm pretty sure the sun wasn't even fully awake yet. I crawled my butt out of bed, feeling so drained and hung over. And leave it to Jay to want to talk early as hell.

I opened the door to see Jay standing there. The awkwardness between us made it feel like the first time we met which was sort if like this. But instead I was in my clothes from last night and I was the one reeking of alcohol. Jay on the other hand was very well dressed, as if he were going out. I'm surprised that Jay was still standing in the hallway instead of barging in like he always does.

"You know you could come in." I said breaking the silence.

"I know." He answered in a smart like tone. "I just came down here to see if you were still going to keep Mileena, while I go and take care of some business."

The the nerve of this man. After all that shit he talked last night and after hanging up on me then not talking to me for the rest if the night, but wants me to watch Mileena. I couldn't believe him.

"Damn." I said angrily. "You really got some nerve, don't you?" I began to snap.

"Look I ain't got time to sit and argue." Jay said calmly but you could tell that he had an attitude. "Are you or your not?"

"Yeeeea." I said frustratedly.

"Cool, well she's down there eating, I got to run though. Yal could stay there or you could bring her back here, it doesn't matter. But if yal do decide to hit the town let me know.....Im out." He replied just before walking off.

"No kiss good bye." I teased knowing Jay had an attitude. He just grunted at me and kept on.

Shortly after Jay left, I made my way down to his apartment, with Mileena. When I got there, she had finished eating but was still sitting at the table just quiet and innocently.

"Hey there sugar." I said cheerfully, making my way over to her.

She lit up as soon as she heard my voice. "Miss Beeeeeeeeeeeee" she said running towards me. Wow this girl has really taken a liken too me, I thought.

"Hey baby..." I said happily feeling so loved.

"Where were you lastnight? Daddy was mad you were gone..."She said.

"Oh was he now."I said aloud to myself.

"I thought you don't like me, I thought you left me and never come back." She said sad like.

"Oh baby...I will never leave you. And Miss B, loves you very much."

She smiled up at me. Then said some words to me that were going to change me forever. "Miss B...." she said. By this time we were sitting on the couch and I was flicking through the channels trying to find us something to watch.

"Yesss...." I replied worried what might
come out of her mouth.

"I wis-sh you could be my mommy, I don't have one. Her died when I was little, that's why my daddy have me. And GG takes care of me." She went in to say.

I was so in awe of Mileena and I was also heart broken and crushed at the same time. It was no way that I could be this girl's mother. I'm not sure if Jay and I will even last that long, and I can't say for sure if we will but I am hoping. And don't get me wrong Mileena has grown on me in a way but taking that motherly responsibility was something I'm not prepared for nor ready to do.

"I wish I could be your mother too, Mileena, but I'm not. But if you want you can call me mom or mommy and whatever." I said cheering her up.

"I cannnnn..." She said excitedly, beginning to bounce around on the couch. Now mind you I was still hung over from last night, so I instantly became noxious.

"Ugh." I said holding my stomach after becoming sick.

"Are you ok, mommy B." she said concerned and scared. You know how kids get when they think something is wrong.

"Yea I'm fine baby..." I said lying, to keep her from freaking out. "Mommy B has to go to the bathroom." I said getting up. "You just stay here and watch tv."

"Ok." She said watching me as I slowly staggered off to the bathroom.

I sat in the bathroom waiting for like ever to just throw up already. But it seemed my stomach just wanted to play tricks on me. After settling down, I went in the kitchen to drink a glass of water to hydrate myself and keep my stomach calm. And as I sat back on the couch with Mileena, looking at her my mind began to drift off imagining my life as a mother and Mileena being my actual daughter. I unconsciously held my stomach at the thought of me being with child. In my mind it seemed so perfect but in reality it was a whole other story. I sat and contemplated over the idea of mothering Mileena, but my thoughts got interrupted by a text from Jay.

How are my girls doing?

Well well well, I take it your not mad anymore.

I know, I know. I acted an ass last night but I'm over it and I'm sorry.

Yea, you did. But I'm sorry too. And speaking of lastnight where were you and why didn't you answer the phone for me.

Well after the leaving the office, I headed over to the studio to see a good friend of mine. I ended up cutting my phone off during his studio session. Then lost the track of time and well....

Did it ever occur to you that I might of had plans and wouldn't of been able to keep Leena yesterday?

I didn't think about that and I apologize once again.

It's okay. I understand. So what time do you think you'll be home?

Probably 5, you want take out or something cooked from the house.

Ok. And I can see what I Dan throw together.

You can cook??? lol And breakfast doesn't count.

Lol remind we to leave you something extra on your plate.

Aw damn straight up.

Well you started it, saying I couldn't cook.

You know I was just playing. But if you do cook, make sure Leena doesnt eat. Lmao

Oh I see you got jokes, remember that the next time you wanna have sex.

Now you know I'm just playing, and speaking of sex, your gonna be ready when I come home right?

lol what about Leena?

Oh don't worry. Her god father is coming to pick her up soon, you think you can have her ready?

Yea, I guess. Around what time.

2 or 3, but I gave him your number so that he could call you when he was on his way.

Ok.

Well alright, I gotta get back to work. Ill see you later.

Ok. I replied ending the text convo.

After talking to Jay i felt much better. Although we are already having minor arguments I feel Jay and I can work through anything. I mean it's only the beginning an I can I only be patient and see where things go. But as for now I was fine and comfortable with Jay and Mileena, and just my life as a whole.