Chp6

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     Ok so like i mentioned last time, things didn't go as i planned. Jay never showed up, but he called and apologized about it. He had got tied up with everything and just couldn't find the time. It bothered me at first, but then i completely understood because i've been in his predicament before. But i didn't know that the next time we saw each other was going to be the night of his party. And i know his party wasn't a good place to talk either, but best believe the day after it was going to happen.

     I was in the middle of getting ready, when i received a call from Jay letting me know a car service was coming to pick me up. So i was excited, he was sending a car for me. I felt so special. I wish i could have brought Angie or Kelly but they got tied up with their own plans and i didnt want to take away from their time.

      Aside from feeling tension about being around Jay, I was over all in a good mood. I was looking good, i was feeling good, and i was looking forward to have a good night.  Around 9:30, i received a call from Miguel, the desk clerk from downstairs telling me that my ride was hear. My excitement grew as i made my way to the club. And pulling up my eyes lit up when i saw the crowd of people arriving at Jay's club. I had no idea this man knew so many people, let alone had this type of celebrity status.


     I got out the car, being helped by some handsome man, there was cameras flashing and paparazzi everywhere. Getting out the car, i looked and spotted Jay taking pictures and laughing it up. He seemed like he was already enjoying himself. And as i was walking up to him, i began to call out to him, only to hear some other little chick, calling out his name as well. My smile went straight into a frown.

     

     Who the hell was this bitch, looking like a dolled up prostitute with that platinum blond hair. And why was she calling for Jay. We both approached Jay nearly at the same time, but she beat to the punch when she hugged Jay, but my heart sank with i seen them lock lips right in front of me. But i held it together and played it off.

"Hey Jay..." i said stepping in the give him a hug once they finally released from each other.

"Whats up?" Jay asked, hugging me back. But he seemed like things were cool and i was confused, damn am i still in the fucking friends zone, i thought. "Beyonce, this is Eva, Eva this is Beyonce." Jay said introducing us. "Beyonce's a friend of mine." Jay went on to say and i swear i could have punched him.

"Hi nice too meet you." i said very fake line- trying to restrain from something ignorant.

"You too, i've heard she good things about you." she replied.

"Oh really, because i heard nothing of you." i commented.

I guess Jay sensed my cockiness so he did the only thing he could do "Come on, lets go inside. I can use a drink." 

"You and me both." i replied, following behind the two of them. My mood was totally crushed.

When we got inside and Jay and I had a few minutes alone, i took those minutes to get some information about that girl asking how they met, we're they dating, what we're their status and all that other shit.

      Jay went on to say that they met on the night of his birthday, at some club in Miami, but he didn't know she stayed in NY. But they've been seeing each other ever since, but it's nothing serious for them yet, he says he just having fun, and just seeing where things go.

     I was a little hurt, but its nobody's fault but mine for letting this happen. Why did i have to get mad at him and stop all contact with him. Now's it's gonna be even more harder having to explain how i feel. And poor Will i haven't spoken to him or seen him a good minute. He's probably wondering, what the fuck?!

     To deal with my emotions and my nerves, i started drinking a little more then i should have. I was trying to suck it up and be a good friend to Jay but it's hard when other emotions are involved. All night i sat aside while i watched Jay enjoy himself with that girl, and as much as i tried to enjoy myself i just couldn't. After a while i started distancing myself from Jay. But things got a little better after bumping into Gywn, Chris's wife. 

"Hey girrrl..." she said so enthuse or she was just super drunk.

"Hey..." i replied. I didn't really know her like that. I just met her that one time and that was about it.

"What are you doing over here all by yourself?" she asked. She was standing up but was swaying back and forth, at one point she even used me as a crutch.

"Im just over here chilling by myself thats all..." i answered.

"Oh what ever..." she blurted out extremely loud. "Hold on, i gotta sit down." she mumbled after just stumbling.

I watched and observed her as she sat down across from me. I mean i know i had a buzz in all but i was no where as fucked up as she was.

"Are you okay?" i asked, not sure if she was going to make it into the New Year.

"Psh, what....girl....i..am..good!" she said slowly then started laughing.

Oh lord, i thought. "So tell me whats going on? I can see it all in your face." she added.

At this point i knew she was just going to keep talking to me, so i figured why not talk too her. She want remember anything tomorrow anyway, hopefully.

"I bet you it has something to do with Jay and that girl doesn't it?" she asked before i could even say anything.

"What would make you say that?" i asked. This girl didn't know me from a can of paint, was she physic or something.

"I normally have a good sense when it comes too things like this....so go ahead and spill."

"Well if you must know..." i started off "I guess I'm feeling some type of way about Jay tonight. You see, he asked me to come out here tonight, and I'm like yea cool, i'll go you know because thats my friend, but when i found out he invited that other girl thats when things just sort went left." i went on to explain.

"So let me get this straight?" she said pausing for a minute as she stared at me hard, it kind of creeped me out. "You and Jay are friends, Am i right?"

"Right." i answered.

"But youuuu......like him, am i right."

"Uhmmm, well....---" i said finding it hard to say, knowing damn well i did.

"You do, you do." she said cutting me off, but she was right "And seeing him with that girl, made you feel jealous in a way."

"Well not so much jealous, but it upset me." i said. I in no way wanted to admit that i was jealous. And it wasn't that i was jealous of her, i just figured that should be me on his arm.

"Yea i understand. But he likes you though, i can tell." she went on to say.

"What makes you say that?" i asked trying to figure out how she would know that.

"Because why else, would he be coming over here to speak to you?" she said finally finishing off her drink. 

"Huh?" i asked, then turning around to see Jay coming this way.

"Im gonna go get me another one of these." she said getting up from the table and heading towards the bar. "Heyyyyy, whats up JAY!" she said trying to slaps fives but she missed his hand.

Jay laughing "Whats up Gwyn....where you off too?"

"To get me another one of these thats for sure." she said as she laughed then turned around and walked off.

"Oh lord.." Jay mumbled then proceed on my way. "Hey i've been looking for you all over? Where you been?"

"I've been around...." i said with a little attitude. The last person i wanted to talk to right now was Jay. This liquor and my emotions were not a good mixture.

"Talk to me..." he said sitting down where Gwyn was just sitting "Whats going on with you?"

"Nothing." i answered not making any eye contact with Jay "Where's your friend?"

"Who Eva? She's back over by the booth. I told her i was coming to look for you." he replied.

"Look for me? Look for me for what?" i asked profoundly. 

"Have you been drinking?" Jay asked "Wait let me take that back, how much have you been drinks."

"I had a few drinks..." i simply answered being all nonchalant.

Jay let out a deep sigh. "So are you going to be like this all night?" he asked.

"Be like what?" i asked innocently.

"You know what I'm talking about." his tone became very stern. I just rolled my eyes. "Man, whatever!" Jay said then got up and walked away.

     But it didn't bother me, because a few minutes after he left, some guy came up to me asking me if i wanted to dance. Now knowing damn well what i was doing, i got my pretty ass up and followed Carl, the guy, out onto the dance floor, and grabbed me another drink as we passed the bar. I could see Jay watching from a ways and i could tell he didn't like it. But i didn't care, i was going to make him feel like i felt. Because if he didn't get the hint with Will, then he was going to catch it with Carl.

"Whats your name darling?" Carl whispered into my ear.

"Giselle...." i said giving him, my middle name. 

"Giselle, i like that." he answered. "I saw you sitting off by yourself and i though whats a pretty girl like that doing all alone." he said trying to amuse me.

"Oh really." i giggled.

"Mmhm. So are you seeing anyone, Giselle." the man asked.

"Not technically, but i am involved with someone, but things are just complicated."

"Oh, i understand." And after that the conversation went on, as well as the dancing. Carl and I flirted and danced with each other for about a good 20 minutes, luckily all the songs were smooth enough instead of pop your booty fast music. It probably would have been longer, if Jay didn't come over and interrupt. Without a care or thought in the world, Jay snatched me by my arm, and pulled me off to the side, daring Carl to come after me or even say something.

"What in the hell do you think your doing?" Jay asked, boy was he mad.

"I was just dancing damn." i said breaking loose of Jay's grip. 

"Dancing my ass...You tryna leave with dude?" he asked raising up both his eyebrows giving me an angry expression.

"Why do you care, i aint your girl. Matter of fact, there she is over there. I'd get back over there to her if i were you, she looks like she's getting bit lonely." i snapped.

Jay tightened his fist as his frustration grew.

(Jay's Thoughts)

What the hell is wrong with Beyonce? I mean first she gives me attitude about Eva then she spends all her time grinding up on some dude that she doesn't even know. Right in front of me. I don't even know why I'm so mad though. I guess that because deep down i truly have feelings for her. I mean i know i like her in all, but i never thought it was enough to have me tripping like this. And besides i thought she was with Will, and i didn't want to come between that. And if she likes me why doesn't she just tell me instead of get mad at me all the time. I guess thats whats wrong with the both of us, we're just too scared. But despite all that, she knew what she was doing. It wasn't like i brought Eva here intentionally to make Beyonce mad. I just figured if she was going to pursue things with Will, then i should as well.

"You know what, i hope you and dude have a good night together." Jay said then walked off.

"Are you okay?" Carl said slowly approaching, i could tell Jay had him scared.

And thinking about Jay and what just happened, I just figured it was best that i just went on about my business. Jay and I will never come to grips that we both indeed like each other. Just look at how we at now with each other, no telling how things will be once we get together. It's just best that i leave that alone and just let things be.

"Yea im ok..." i said with a reassuring smile "You wanna go ahead and get out of here, and go have some real fun." I asked.

 Now maybe that was me speaking from my emotions or from that liquor, but i knew leaving here tonight with Carl, is going to either turn into a good situation or a bad one, and which ever way it goes, i don't know, I'm just eager to find out.

"Sure, lets go." he said taking me by the hand and leading the way. And from there my night had ended.

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(Jay's POV)

The next morning i awoke trying to get my head together and reenact last night. I can't believe the way Beyonce was acting. But then again i could understood, because seeing with Beyonce with that random guy nearly drove me insane. And i atleast thought she had more respect for me. I just don't get her times. But i like her though, and i really want to talk to her. Maybe the too of us being around each other is causing mixed feelings, so maybe time apart and away from each other, just too see if we still feel the same. Because i'm not trying to get my heart broken again, i can't deal with that. It takes a lot to for me to trust someone, but with Beyonce it was different. Maybe because we started off as friends. Man this whole situation got my head spinning. I need to get out and get some air.

I was joined in the bathroom by Eva, who had stayed the night. Seeing Beyonce leave with that lame and having Eva there by my side, i mean what else could i have done.

"You okay baby?" she asked, grabbing me from behind.

"Yea I'm good. How are you doing this morning?" i asked turning around to face her.

"Im doing well, and i slept well too." she added

"I bet you did." i implied, being that we really shook things up last night.

Eva giggling "Ohh baby you are so silly." she said very sweetly, planting a kiss upon my lips. "I wish i could stay longer, but i have too go."

"Go?" i asked a little bummed out. "But i thought you would have atleast stayed for breakfast." i said trying to convince her to stay.

"Mmmm Jay, dont do this too me." she whined. I promise i will make it up to you, tonight." she said giving me another kiss, but this time it lasted much longer.

"Alright..." i said as the kiss finally broke. "But you got a lot of making up to do."

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(Bey's POV)

 The next morning i woke feeling all types of ways. For one i was hung over, and images of Jay and that girl flashed throughout my mind, causing me to fuel up again. And thinking about that guy Carl, i really felt disgusted. Leaving with him was just a front, after we made it out of the club, i called for the car service to come and get me. And although Carl was bummed about it, it didn't phase me not one bit. He was a fool to think that i was going to go home with him.

All my thoughts about last night and Jay was really beginning to get to me. And me having a banging headache was making it no better. I needed to get out and get some air. But before doing i had too shower and get my self freshened up. I slipped into a comfortable jump suit because we were in the middle of winter and it was cold, and by me jet hopping out the shower i was not trying to be sick. I grabbed my keys and my phone and headed out the door, only to run into Jay coming out of his. Oh great i thought, bring on the scolding.

I got down to here door, where we had a mini face off. He just stared at me the same way i was staring at him. And seem we both were lost for words and trying to gather our thoughts. Then the both of went to speak but spoke at the same time, but Jay being the gentlemen that he is allowed me to speak first.

"Can we go inside to talk?" i asked.

Jay didn't say anything he just hesitated for a minute like he was thinking about then opened the door to let us in. The first thing i saw when i walked in was a champagne bottle, keys, and a pair of woman's shoes. I tried my best to maintain my composure.

"Looks like somebody had a good night." i commented, i just couldn't hold back.

"Look its not what you think, but it's everything that it seems." Jay replied.

"I don't even care.." i said walking further into the house. "Thats none of my business, i don't even know why i even said anything."

"Because you care thats why." Jay said back, and i couldn't even say anything because i was right. "Don't get upset though, because i care too." he went on to say. "I'll admit seeing you with dude really effected me, i guess the same way seeing Eva effect you."

"But why do things have to be like this, i mean we could have avoided all of this, now it's just seemed like everything is fucked up." i said beginning to get emotional, but Jay came over to comfort me.

"Yea things are pretty fucked up, but thats why we're here right, too fix things." he said holding my face up too look at him, as i resisted.

"But it's like where do we go from here, i mean it's clear now that we have feelings for each other, but i hate it took hooking up with other guys for you too notice." i confessed. "I never even really liked Will, i just fooled around with him to make you jealous."

Jay chuckled a little bit "Well if you would you would have just told me and been honest with me to begin with, the--"

"Well i triedd" i said interrupting Jay "But i didn't want to deal with you rejecting me again."

"But how was i too know anything if you don't talk to me." he said.

"Oh just like the same way you talked too me." i said flipping things around.

"You're right. That was bad on both of our parts." said Jay.

"So what now...do you just end things with her to work on things with us or?" i said throwing out random suggestions.

Jay let out a deep sigh and backed against a wall to lean against it, he had his hand on his chin and he sort of spaced off, i could tell he had begun to think. "Do you think it's really that easy?" he asked.

"Well not necessarily, well i know for me it is because i'm not really feeling Will, it all depends on how you feel about her."

"Eva." Jay responded as if i didn't know her name.

"Well what ever." i said snootily.

Jay shook his head "You are a trip you know that."

"Annnnnd, deal with it." i kept on. "So whats up, let me know something?"

"Something like what?" Jay asked as if we were having some brand new ass conversation.

"I wanna know how do you feel as far as us, i want to know how you feel as far as her, i want to know how you feel period." i said practically begging Jay to just open up.

"Well i do like you Beyonce and I value our friendship, and i can't picture not having you around or in my life. Thses past few months have been a roller coaster between us but i feel thats what made our bond so much closer and stronger." he began.

"Now how do you feel about her?" i asked very dryly.

"Man..." Jay sighed. "I dont even know. Well i mean i like her in all, she's cool to hang with, she's sweet, she listens to me, she's outgoing, and down too ea--- "

"Ok i get it!" i said becoming sick to my stomach hearing him compliment her like that.

"What I'm saying is i guess, I'm just a little confused. Because i feel like this was something we should have discussed a long time ago, and it's not like i can just switch my feelings for Eva off,  nor can i do the same with you..."

"So what are you trying to say?" i asked, feeling my body become numb. I just knew whatever Jay was about to say was nothing good.

"I guess I'm trying to say, we need some time apart to really grasp on the situation and to see if this is something that we really want. I've been hurt before and I'm not trying to go through all that again. Which is why whomever i come into a relation with has to be legit, or it's just aint gonna happen." Jay expressed.

"Well how much time are we talking?" I asked.

"We'll i leave out of town in two weeks, and i'll be gone for maybe a little over a week maybe, it may even be longer depending on how things goes. But in the mean time, you can work on settling things with Will, because you just can't leave him in the dark like that."Jay added

"Your right." i replied "And i think this will be good for us."

"Well i guess thats it then, I'm glad we finally got that out the way." said Jay.

"Yea me too. I feel so much better now. Well a little...." i joked but really dead ass serious.

Jay and continued to talk as we made our way to the door. "Ima give you a call or something in a couple of days to check you and stuff."

"Ok." i replied.

Then Jay extended out his arms to give me hug, but i playfully resisted but Jay pulled me in anyway. "Don't act like that chump..." he said hugging me "You know i have nothing but love for you."

"I know." i said poking out my lip "But why do i feel like we're breaking up and we weren't even together."

"Man, lowkey...i actually feel the same way. The past couple months have been crazy huh?" he said finally releasing from his hug.

"Ch....crazy aint even the word." i said as we both laugh. "But leave it to Jay to have you feeling all types of crazy." i joked. By this time we were back into the hallway, where we first started.

"And leave it to Beyonce to have you doing shit thats crazy." he said causing us to laugh again.

"Boy bye." i said playfully hitting Jay. And from there we continued on. I headed back out like i said i was, as well as Jay. But i was in a much better mood and felt more confident about me and Jay. I knew in my heart he was what i wanted, but he was right about the whole Will situation. If i didn't do anything at all, ending things with Will was going to be the first.